Driscol Has Spoken . . . Not Really

 OOC Driscol. You have been warned.

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I've been staring at this page for the last sixteen and a half minutes trying to figure out what on earth I'm supposed to write. Fiction, nonfiction. My thoughts, another person's thoughts. This entire journal has been blank for months now and, although Jill was patient at first, I think she's ready for me to write something.

  I don't know what she expects me to say, though. I mean, everyone else has so much more going on in their heads. Clearly I don't want to say anything, ever, because I simply stand here all day, watching, waiting, listening. No personality. No real emotion. I'm just here. But I won't rant, not right now.

  This is my first entry, so I guess I should introduce myself, maybe. The name's Driscol Gallaugher. I'm seventeen, my only friend is Fiona Harren, apparently I know how to hunt, and I used to run a bar (you know, before I got whisked off into a journey to search for the missing king). I live with my mom, but we don't talk a lot. Well, I don't talk a lot. I never do.

  I'm not sure why Jill gave everyone else personalities and gave me a single word: Silent. Why couldn't I be loyal, like Rylan, or crazy, like Lorcan? Elroy is overconfident, Donovan is scared of his own shadow. Gael doesn't say much, but, when he does, at least he has anger to back it up.

  And me? I'm quiet. Just quiet.

  My author is almost finished writing the book and you know what? I know less about me than you do. I'm still just there. I'm just quiet and still and yet I can't do anything about that. I mean, doesn't she know the meaning of character development? I think the most significant thing I do in the whole book is have a secret crush on Fiona, but she never finds out because I DON'T TALK.

  What is Jill thinking, for crying out loud? Doesn't she see I have things I want to say, things I need to get off my chest? I mean, how would she feel if someone stuck her in a story just to stand there all day, watching everyone else have conversations and adventures and fall in love? She would hate it, just like I do.

  I mean, seriously, I don't even know what I like. Does that tell you anything about how little I speak? The most entertaining thing I even did in the book was have a half-playful, half-serious argument with Fiona that lasted ten seconds before I stopped talking. Again.

  And speaking of Fiona, what makes Jill think I'd like her, of all people? We're complete opposites and best friends. Since when did "best friends" have crushes on each other? Not only that, but she's in love with Rylan Laury! What makes my author think I'd like her, knowing she was happier with someone else? Am I desperate, or just stupid?

  I wouldn't know, because I never talk.

  Also, while we're letting things out here, can someone please explain to me what my backstory is, because I can't quite figure that one out. My mom is in the picture, but not really because she never shows up and I never miss her or think about her. And then my dad is roaming around town somewhere, apparently the most hated man in Hanoria, yet he never shows up either. So why do people hate him, why am I avoiding him if he's a sweet old man who never bothers anyone?

  AND WHY DO PEOPLE HATE ME? I'm his son, not his accomplice. Goodness gracious alive.

  Another thing: I have six hundred gold pieces and I tell Donovan I'd want to use that money to travel. What? NO. This whole journey consists of traveling, I'm doing that for free. What idiot would want to travel more? My feet hurt, there are bugs everywhere, the weather sucks, and, on top of everything, there's nothing really great to see out here -- just trees, trees, snow, and -- oh, look! -- some more trees.

  Also, please don't get me started on the fact that a purple haired elf, who showed up halfway through the novel, gets to become a more important character than me. HE EVEN HAS MORE OF A BACKSTORY THAN I DO. What the heck is that all about? What, because he's an elf, he gets more attention than me? It's probably those golden eyes. Chicks dig the golden eyes.

  Personally, I always thought girls went for the tall, dark, and handsome type. I mean, look at me! I'm dark! I'm handsome-ish! (I wouldn't know that either, because all the princesses either fall for sweet, innocent Donovan or hard-to-get Gael. Or, worst of all, Rylan. Now that one I don't get. At least I'm silent and kind. He's got an attitude and girls like him more than me. He's not nice at all. He doesn't like people in general. At least I love people, but, once again, you wouldn't know that.)

  Well, this has been long enough. Here's to hoping I'll stumble upon a voice box in the next book. Maybe I'll give them all a piece of my mind when I do.

  -D.G.

  P.S. This was totally fictional (you know, just in case Jill decides to read it). Ta-ta, lovelies!

  P.S.S. YES. I said it. Because I say weird things. Bet you didn't see that one coming.

Hallelujah

 These things will change,

Can you see it now?

These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down.

This revolution, the time will come,

For us to finally win.

And we'll sing hallelujah,

We'll sing hallelujah.

~Change, Taylor Swift.

This is for everyone out there going through something, everyone who needs someone right now, anyone who is struggling in any way. This is for those that hurt because of others, this is for those who hurt for others. This post is for those people, whether I know you or not.

The world is a place of mystery. You never know what might happen. People leave, but new people come into your life. Problems come, but they don't last forever. Pain is real, but it looks fictitious when compared to love.

Life, the world, people, everything has a way of balancing itself out. I don't know why, exactly, but I know it does. I don't believe that, for everything good that happens, there's something bad. I think that's an idiotic theory. However, I do believe that, for every bad thing that happens, something better is coming.

Your world might be falling apart right now. You might be barely hanging on. Your heart could be broken, your world shattered. You could be absolutely hopeless. But, no matter what the circumstances, I can assure you: Something better is coming.

Sometimes we don't understand why things don't work out. Sometimes we can't figure out why terrible things happen to innocent people, why we have so many problems while it seems the rest of the world is floating around in a bubble of sunshine and rainbows.

But I can tell you from experience that life won't always be the way it is in this moment, as your heart is breaking, as you watch others hurt, or feel pain of your own. This isn't going to last forever. It never does. So you fell. This isn't a Life Alert commercial, you know. You can get back up. And falling doesn't hold you back, it simply slows you down.

If you stump your toe on the cement, do you curl up into a ball and never move again?

No. You either (a) keep walking, or (b) you hop around while holding your foot as you shout things you probably shouldn't. And, even if you do the second one, you're still moving. A stumped toe isn't going to stop you forever.

Some of you are probably thinking, "Well, my problem is much bigger than a stumped toe. You just don't understand."

But I do. My problems are bigger than stumped toes, too. I have a lot on my mind right now, just like everyone else. But I'm learning more as I type, so I'll keep going. :)

People have major setbacks everyday, things that could easily destroy them, but each and every time they get knocked down, they get back up.

Do musicians become great overnight? Do they pick up their instruments and automatically know how to play?

Do athletes automatically know how to play a sport? Do they never have to work hard to do well in what they do?

No. No one knows where they're going when they first start something. It's scary to take a leap of faith sometimes, even when all the odds are against you and everything in your life is falling apart. Why do we take steps like that, then? Because sometimes, to overcome the odds and everything else against you, you have to work hard and don't stop trying no matter what you might face.

I found this the other day and it really made me think:

"Fall seven times,

Stand up eight."

-Japanese Proverb.

And then, only a few days later, I was listening to someone preach a message and they used this verse:

Proverbs 24:16 (NIV)

"For though the righteous fall seven times,

They rise again..."

So what does that tell you? I mean, I don't even have to explain it, because I know it'll mean something different to each and every person who reads this, while it will speak to us the same way.

How do I know everything will be okay? How do I know that the end of these problems you're facing will be the beginning of the most beautiful thing you could ever imagine? Because I've been there. We all have, whether we'll admit it or not.

I can't think of even one terrible thing that has happened in my life that I learned nothing from. And from learning, I grew; and from growing, life became more beautiful. Problems are here to help us, not hurt us. And I know you're thinking your life will never be the same again. But, you know, that's right. It won't. It will never, ever be the same, because you will change and grow and learn. Life is beautiful.

Your world might be falling apart right now, but sometimes things have to fall apart to come back together. Kind of like a puzzle, huh?

Well, this was my blog post for myself. I learned a lot. I hope someone else got something out of this. You were never meant to fail or bow down to what you're facing. You were meant to stand up again.

So stand, no matter where you are.

It was the night things changed,

Can you see it now?

These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down.

This revolution, throw your hands up,

'Cause we never gave in.

And we sang hallelujah,

We sang hallelujah.

 ~Change, Taylor Swift.