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I've been staring at this page for the last sixteen and a half minutes trying to figure out what on earth I'm supposed to write. Fiction, nonfiction. My thoughts, another person's thoughts. This entire journal has been blank for months now and, although Jill was patient at first, I think she's ready for me to write something.
I don't know what she expects me to say, though. I mean, everyone else has so much more going on in their heads. Clearly I don't want to say anything, ever, because I simply stand here all day, watching, waiting, listening. No personality. No real emotion. I'm just here. But I won't rant, not right now.
This is my first entry, so I guess I should introduce myself, maybe. The name's Driscol Gallaugher. I'm seventeen, my only friend is Fiona Harren, apparently I know how to hunt, and I used to run a bar (you know, before I got whisked off into a journey to search for the missing king). I live with my mom, but we don't talk a lot. Well, I don't talk a lot. I never do.
I'm not sure why Jill gave everyone else personalities and gave me a single word: Silent. Why couldn't I be loyal, like Rylan, or crazy, like Lorcan? Elroy is overconfident, Donovan is scared of his own shadow. Gael doesn't say much, but, when he does, at least he has anger to back it up.
And me? I'm quiet. Just quiet.
My author is almost finished writing the book and you know what? I know less about me than you do. I'm still just there. I'm just quiet and still and yet I can't do anything about that. I mean, doesn't she know the meaning of character development? I think the most significant thing I do in the whole book is have a secret crush on Fiona, but she never finds out because I DON'T TALK.
What is Jill thinking, for crying out loud? Doesn't she see I have things I want to say, things I need to get off my chest? I mean, how would she feel if someone stuck her in a story just to stand there all day, watching everyone else have conversations and adventures and fall in love? She would hate it, just like I do.
I mean, seriously, I don't even know what I like. Does that tell you anything about how little I speak? The most entertaining thing I even did in the book was have a half-playful, half-serious argument with Fiona that lasted ten seconds before I stopped talking. Again.
And speaking of Fiona, what makes Jill think I'd like her, of all people? We're complete opposites and best friends. Since when did "best friends" have crushes on each other? Not only that, but she's in love with Rylan Laury! What makes my author think I'd like her, knowing she was happier with someone else? Am I desperate, or just stupid?
I wouldn't know, because I never talk.
Also, while we're letting things out here, can someone please explain to me what my backstory is, because I can't quite figure that one out. My mom is in the picture, but not really because she never shows up and I never miss her or think about her. And then my dad is roaming around town somewhere, apparently the most hated man in Hanoria, yet he never shows up either. So why do people hate him, why am I avoiding him if he's a sweet old man who never bothers anyone?
AND WHY DO PEOPLE HATE ME? I'm his son, not his accomplice. Goodness gracious alive.
Another thing: I have six hundred gold pieces and I tell Donovan I'd want to use that money to travel. What? NO. This whole journey consists of traveling, I'm doing that for free. What idiot would want to travel more? My feet hurt, there are bugs everywhere, the weather sucks, and, on top of everything, there's nothing really great to see out here -- just trees, trees, snow, and -- oh, look! -- some more trees.
Also, please don't get me started on the fact that a purple haired elf, who showed up halfway through the novel, gets to become a more important character than me. HE EVEN HAS MORE OF A BACKSTORY THAN I DO. What the heck is that all about? What, because he's an elf, he gets more attention than me? It's probably those golden eyes. Chicks dig the golden eyes.
Personally, I always thought girls went for the tall, dark, and handsome type. I mean, look at me! I'm dark! I'm handsome-ish! (I wouldn't know that either, because all the princesses either fall for sweet, innocent Donovan or hard-to-get Gael. Or, worst of all, Rylan. Now that one I don't get. At least I'm silent and kind. He's got an attitude and girls like him more than me. He's not nice at all. He doesn't like people in general. At least I love people, but, once again, you wouldn't know that.)
Well, this has been long enough. Here's to hoping I'll stumble upon a voice box in the next book. Maybe I'll give them all a piece of my mind when I do.
-D.G.
P.S. This was totally fictional (
P.S.S. YES. I said it. Because I say weird things. Bet you didn't see that one coming.
